Busy in Logan

It's been a few weeks since I arrived in Logan.  It has been hot but yesterday it got cold again and snowed on the mountains around Logan again.  The picture is from my balcony.   It is beautiful here.  


I also started my yoga class this week and have an opening banquet to attend tonight.  Finally started reading again and am enjoying it very much.  Reading one of Jean Auel's new books, The Land of Painted Caves, and another one on Going Solo.  They are both good but the later is an interesting book from a sociological perspective about the rise of single households and the large demographic that is made up by this group.   


My yoga instructor, Nancy, and I are going up to Bear Lake this week-end.  She wanted to see it and I decided it was a GREAT time to make the trip.  She is here from Tuscon and without a car.  So we are off on a road trip this weekend.

Three month update

It has been a busy 3+ months.  I spent the first two months after Stu’s passing in Sun City getting some things in order.  The BIG things were easy. Only one loose end in the paperwork department.  Over Easter weekend, we held a Celebration of Life gathering for Stu in Sun City.  Stu’s daughter Sarah, her husband Ed, and Stu’s first wife Pat flew in and my sister Jenny and her son Slade flew in as well.  Stu’s best friend Kermit and his wife, Cheryl, drove in from Los Angeles and Stu’s cousin Betty flew in from San Francisco.  The rest of the folks attending were family and friends from the Sun City area.  There were about 30 people in attendance.  It was a joyful celebration of Stu’s life.

The Monday after the gathering my sister Jenny and I drove to Texas which began a series of visits with my siblings over a five-week period.  It started off in New Braunfels with a small dinner to honor Stu, some of our NB friends and of course, my sister, Jenny attended.  I spent about 10 days in NB. While in NB,  I had  nice visits with Jenny and my good friends David, Dan, Joe, and Sara,  as well as my cousin Mary B., Cindy & Dennis,  and some other fun people.   I spent a couple of nights at my brother Bill’s house in Georgetown and as usually Sandy, his wife, out did herself with good food and hospitality.  It was a short visit but that is the only time Bill could fit me in...he’s retired you know...and consulting and on the road regularly.

When I left Bill’s I headed to Pearland, TX (south of Houston) to spend a week with sister Margo and her husband Tom.  Margo made sure I saw all the wonderful places in her part of town in case I am persuaded by her to move to that area.  I also got to spend time with Holly (my niece Margo’s daughter), Brian (husband), and Alicia (their daughter).  I got to see Alicia play soccer and perform in her gymnastics class.  Margo and I also made it to Galveston.  I was there right after the hurricane but had not seen all the changes on the island.  It was quite an improvement.

After the week in Pearland, I took the hour drive to Conroe, TX (north of Houston) to my sister Mary Lou’s and her husband David.  Her son Steve convinced me to come the week before Mother’s Day to help at the flower shop Mary still owns and operates.  I coordinated the deliveries, and the cooler, and I took pictures of most of the arrangements that were prepared, so Steve can put pics on the internet.   It was a fun week and I enjoyed the visit with Mary & Dave.   Believe me it was a busy week.  On Saturday of that week, I attended my niece Jenna’s graduation from Texas A&M.  On Sunday, I ended  the week with another Celebration of Life gathering for Stu at Steve (nephew) and Donna’s (wife) house.  Lots of family attended including the newest member of the clan, Tristan, and our good friend Wade.  There were about 25 people in attendance and it was a very nice gathering to honor Stu. Thanks again Steve and Donna.  For those of you who did not get to attend one of the gatherings, I put together a wonderful slide show of Stu’s life.  Stu got to enjoy seeing it several times last Fall.  It is in my Picasa albums and a link is included if you are interested:   

Stu’s slideshow

The Monday after Mother’s Day  I took Slade (nephew) to the Houston airport and headed back to NB where I was leaving my van.  Thanks to my good friend, Joe,  the van will be inside in one of his barns until I return in the Fall.   Jenny got me to the San Antonio airport on Monday very early (she had a job in SA) but we had to figure out how to get to SA on the back roads because the traffic was backed up to NB.  We made it just fine and no wrong turns...my Dad would be proud.

I spent a week back in Sun City getting ready for my summer in Logan, Utah. Stu and I spent a couple of summers at the Utah State Summer Citizens program and  I decided to return to Logan for the summer.  I still know quite a few people from SC who enjoy their summers here including my very good friend Valerie.  I caravanned from SC to Logan with another friend, Darlene,  and her daughter. We arrived in Logan on Wednesday of this week and I am glad to say it was a safe, uneventful trip.  I have a three bedroom apartment on campus all to myself and I have already invited many of you to join me.  I have been here a few days and I am finally getting the apartment set up and stocked the way I want.  You should have seen all the stuff I hauled up here from SC.  Most of that will stay in storage in Utah over the winter.  They have some nice people who pick up your boxes and then bring them back to your apartment the next year.

My plans for the summer are to relax and enjoy myself.  Also, I  have set as my intention to create and design what I want to do with the rest of my life and to have that be a true expression of who I am and what is important to me.  Stu and I believed/believe that you can create and design your future so these things are top on my list to accomplish.   Stu helped me start this process when he was still alive.  We also believed that having people know about and listen to what you are up to creates the result (the listening creates the speaking).   So I am asking each of you to stand with and for me in accomplishing these goals and to listen powerfully to help me create my path forward.  I also request that you  listen to me and what I am up to and share with me your comments, advice, concerns etc.   

My Last Voyage (by Stu Manville)

Stu had a wonderful blog which he called My Last Voyage in which he wrote about his journey after being diagnosed with lung cancer in September 2011. The link is below.

http://mylastvoyage.blogspot.com/

Stu's obituary

Click on the picture to make it bigger.

Stu is gone

Stu has completed his last voyage. He passed away Thursday night February 9th at 10:10 PM. He and I had a wonderful day together on Thursday. He went out with me and we picked up some food and had a nice lunch on our back patio. He also felt better Thursday than he had in several days. He got to talk to some of his favorite people as well. Around 10 he tried to go to the bathroom and couldn't make it but with my help managed to get back to the bed sort of. He slid off the side of the bed and I had to call 911 to help get him up. They were here around 10 and things seemed alright. About 10 minutes later he took his last breath. I am so glad that he did not have to suffer but a few days.

There will be a gathering of family and friends at his home to honor him but the date has not been set. A similar gathering will occur in Texas at a later date.

It was my honor to share my life with him for over 20 years. He was a wonderful friend and partner. He will be missed by many family and friends.

Cathy
cathy.the.teacher@gmail.com
or cathyatplay@gmail.com

Turned the corner

On February 1st Stu turned the corner down the road we hoped would take longer to reach. He had pain that was not relieved by medication. Was put on a new medicine and he was probably allergic to it. He seemed to bounce back a little over the week-end but the decline came on quickly and is definitely more rapid then expected. His hospice nurse said it is probably a matter of weeks and not very many weeks. We just take things one day at a time. Keep us both in your prayers.

Cathy

How Do You Relate to Death?

Somewhere along the way I ran across a group called Sacred Dying and I have friended them on Facebook. They have a web site at http://www.sacreddying.org/ but I usually just follow them on FB. Today they have link to a wonderful article which begins a series of articles in the Huffington Post called:

The Death and Dying Series Part One: How Do You Relate to Death?

There is an interesting series of questions at the end for you to think about.

Things are stable here. Stu and I both notice a decline in his stamina but we are still able to go out and eat and enjoy each others company. His daughter Sarah and her husband Ed are coming in this weekend for a visit. It will be nice to have them both here.

Peace.

Denial of future

I read a GREAT article in AARP magazine by Richard Cohen. He is married to Meredith Vieira. Richard was diagnosed at age 25 with multiple sclerosis.

One of the many things in Richard's article was talking about his favorite coping mechanism being denial - not necessarily of his present condition but of his future...but why lose a good today over the chance of a bad tomorrow. He denies the certainty of possible outcomes...It really frees you up.

This sums up how Stu and I are trying to live. We don't deny that he has lung cancer but we try to enjoy each day and not worry about the possibility of a bad tomorrow.