Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Step 10 - The Joy of Simply Being

Stop looking for the next thing and just let yourself be. When you learn to take time-out for non-doing, everything in your "doing" life becomes more alive and fulfilling.

Trust life. Whenever you're ready, you'll hear the next message.

Step 9 - Compassion: The natural expression of a joyful heart

Compassion: The natural expression of a joyful heart.

Albert Schweitzer said, I don't know what your destiny will be, but one thing I do know: The only ones among you who will be truly happy are those who have sought and found how to serve.

The path to happiness: relieving the suffering of others and help them find happiness. May my happiness lead to the happiness of others. Create your own vow.

At its core, compassion is a recognition that we are all interconnected, that your suffering is my suffering, that when I see you in pain, my heart trembles. Compassion is a profound softening of the heart when it encounters suffering.

Meditate and become completely focused on experiencing lovingkindness and compassion for all beings. Open your minds and hearts to others. Instead of getting so caught up in What about me? you do a little more of What about you? May you be free of suffering.

Compassion is a verb. Compassion and action go hand in hand It gives real meaning to the phrase "moved by compassion. Offering our compassionate presence not only helps another but deeply nourishes us as we do it. And we don't need to know how to do anything other than be present.

Gandhi said Whatever you do may seem insignificant to you, but it is most important that you do it. Why? Because as we compassionate action, we ourselves grow and unfold as noble beings. Develop equanimity. Bring to mind someone you care about, preferably someone you love deeply. Hold an image of that person in your mind's eye and repeat these words as if they were a blessing: Your happiness or unhappiness depends upon your actions, not only on my wishes for you. I care for you but I cannot keep you from suffering. I honor your life's journey.

You are not obligated to complete the work but neither are you free to abandon it. Each of us can empower others to find and fulfill their destiny. Every young person is a good candidate to invest in, even those who are confused or seem to be lost.

Serving is different from helping. Helping is based on inequality...When we help we may inadvertently take away from people more that we could ever give them... when we serve, we serve with ourselves...the wholeness in us serves the wholeness in others...Service is a relationship between equals. Rachel Naomi Remen in Noetic Sciences Review, Spring 1996.

Step 8 - The Joy of Loving Others

Our most prized possessions don't compare in value to loving and being loved.

Forgiveness is giving up all hope of a better past. The past is gone, and even thought we may legitimately know we were wronged, we are the ones who end up suffering when our hearts are closed in anger. An essential component of compassion and forgiveness is realizing that the other person's words and actions are not about you, but about their internal reality, which has intersected with yours.

As Archbishop Desmond Tutu put it: To forgive is the highest form of self-interest. I need to forgive so that my anger and resentment and lust for revenge don't corrode my own being.

Developing a loving heart. Phrases can include: May you be safe from harm. May you be happy. May you live with ease and joy or any other words that feel natural and genuine. Practice sending love to all beings everywhere. Choose a person of the week. Try it with strangers and people you see casually and then progress to those you don't want to love. Start where you are and honor our feelings with the intention of opening our hearts in understanding. First bring to mind the positive qualities on the person. This helps you soften your heart and makes you open to wishing them well.

A free joy ride. "Mudita practice" to develop and expand the natural uplifing we feel when others thrive. Sympathetic joy. May your joy and happiness continue, and may good fortune follow you everywhere.

Play is love. Play opens our heart and coonnects us with others in a joyful way. Instead of seeing it as a luxury, give yourself some playtime, not only for the fun of it, but as a way to open your heart.

The underlying energy is love loving itself through you. Love moes in a circle. You take it in and sent it out; you sent it out and it comes back to you. You are an instrument of love, and as your relationship to others becomes an expression of that, your capacity for joy grows. If your love rests on wishing happiness for everyone you meet and everyone you share this life with, you joy will be boundless.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Step 7 - The Sweetness of Loving Ourselves

On top of assessing ourselves as falling short, we add yet another layer of suffering. We close our heart to ourselves. This is the predicament we're often stuck in: We resist accepting ourselves as we are, yet this is what we've got. We can't be somebody else, no matter how hare we try.

Typical phrases for sending loving kindness to ourselves include: May I be happy, May I be peaceful, May I live with ease. May I be healthy. May I have inner peace. To live without anxiety about non-perfection is the key to genuine happiness. Seeing non-perfection as part of our shared humanity, we don't have to take our flaws so personally, although we can take them as a gift to learn from. While grating ourselves forgiveness takes patience, as we practice loving kindness, we plant the seeds that will flower in their own time.

Speak kindly to yourself...That's okay, dear. It's just a judging thought.

Step 6 - The Joy of Letting Go

What you need to do is let go of the way things were and just be with what's happening now. Circumstances change, we change, things change, and letting go of what we are holding on to can be a great relief. It is also the road to happiness.

When you stop holding on so tight - to ideas, beliefs, objects or beings you cherish, and precious concepts of who you are - you begin to live in a way that lets you flow with life. You can meet what life brings you and respond creatively, in trust, and with generosity of heart. You discover that letting go is something you do for yourself, not to yourself. Happiness doesn't depend upon what you have or what you hold on to. Rather, by learning the art of letting go, paradoxically we get what we really want. You step into the contentment and ease of a relaxed mind.

What thought or story am I believing right now?

Generosity is an active form of letting go, and it is a sure avenue to happiness.

Let It Go
Let go of the ways you thought life would unfold;
the holding of plans or dreams or expectations - Let it all go.
Safe your strength to swim with the tide.
The choice to fight what is here before you now
will only result in struggle, fear, and desperate attempts to flee
from the very energy you long for. Let it go.

Let it all go and flow with the grace that washes through your days
whether you receive it gently
or will all your quills raised to defend against invaders.
Take this on faith: The mind may never find
the explanations that it seeks,
but you will move forward nonetheless.

Let go, and the wave's crest
will carry you to unknown shores,
beyond your wildest dreams or destinations.
let it all go and find the place of rest and peace,
and certain transformation.
Danna Faulds, from Go In and In

Step 5 - The Bliss of Blamelessness (Integrity)

Speak or act with an impure mind
And trouble will follow you.
As the wheel follows the ox that draws the cart.

Speak or act with a pure mind
And happiness will follow you
As your shadow, unshakable.

The Buddha - The Dhammapada

Habits of Happiness
1. Honor all life.
2. Share your time and resources
3. Take care with sexual energy, respecting boundaries and offering safety.
4. Speak kindly and carefully.
5. Develop a clear mind and healthy body.

Act with integrity in the moment of choice. If something "feels off", whether it's in your job or in how you are relating to others, keep in mind you have a choice. Take an honest look at what you can do differently. Sometimes the choice for integrity can be difficult, but knowing that you're making a choice for your own well-being can give you the courage to take a challenging step. No matter how far you've strayed from integrity, you always have the capacity to turn around and begin again. Aligning your life with your values is a process of development that requires patience, compassion, and continual commitment. But the reward is the bliss of blamelessness. What could be better than that?

Integrity is not just about following guidelines for morality. On a deeper leve, it's about being true to yourself. Are we acting with integrity when we betray ourselves by not developing our gifts and talents? What do I really need to do right now that would bring me greater well-being? Then listen with care to your deepest wisdom--feeling it in your body, hearing the supportive and resonant voice of clarity in your mind.

When we walk the path toward the bliss of blamelessness, our goodness overflows. The joy you're looking for starts with being aligned with your values. As you act with integrity, you become a clear vessel for goodness to move through you and touch others. That not only makes you happy in the moment, but the goodness that radiates out will come back to you many times over.

Step 4 - Finding Joy in Difficult Times

If there is a remedy when trouble strikes,
What reason is there for despondency?
And if there is no help for it,
What use is there in being sad?

The RAIN approach.

R is for Recognize
Naming your emotions is the first step in weakening their power over you.

A is for Allow and Accept
Let go of any agenda for the experience to change.

I is for Investigate with Interest
Investigate how it is expressing itself in your body and mind. Without trying to figure out or explain anything, notice what sensations accompany the emotion.

N is for Non-identification
When you identify with an emotion you put yourself into a box. Don't take it personally.

Don't push your emotions away or get lost in them. After a while you see that, like everything else, they change. They have a beginning and an end. this can make a huge difference in your life. You're not as apt to believe you'll be stuck forever and start pushing the panic button. And you can trust that you have the capacity to work skillfully with strong emotions.

When you feel overwhelmed.

-Look around you for something in the moment to appreciate.
-Engage one of your senses to return you to the moment. What do you see, hear, smell or feel? You might listen to a favorite piece of uplifting music or take a relaxing hot bath. Let yourself sink into that experience.
-Imagine the frightened, sad, or confused part of you as a young child. How old is that child? Imagine holding him/her in a tender embrace. What would you want the child to know?

By shifting your focus from the intense emotion, you can wake up from the dream your mind is creating and wisely address what needs to be attended to.

From Helen Keller, completely unable to see or hear found the grace and insight to conclude: Character cannot be developed in ease and quite. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved...All the world is full of suffering. It is also full of overcoming.

Step 3 - Grateful Heart

Gratitude is like a flashlight. It lights up what is already there. You don't necessarily have anything more or different, but suddenly you can actually see what is. And because you can see, you no longer take it for granted.

Gratitude can be an ongoing frame of reference from which to live your life. You might even, as Albert Einstein suggests, being tosee that everything around you is a miracle.

Step 2 - Being present

Just as it is. Being mindful.

Three levels of mindfulness
The physical, the personal/psychological, and the universal.

Breathing exercise. Find a refuge in the present

Step 1 - Intention

Have an intention to be happy.

I wrote this several days ago. My intention is.

May I be more open to experiencing joy, kindness, compassion, and well-being in each moment.

Awakening Joy

Started reading Awakening Joy by James Baraz & Shoshana Alexander. It's about 10 steps that will put you on the road to real happiness.

I will blog about each step and see how and if I can use these steps later to represence joy.

Oct 12 a year later

I didn't open this for exactly one year. Still didn't post but started thinking about ways to use this as a tool. Am going to use this to record things from books etc. that I am reading to be able to use later as tools.