Adoption and its many blessings

When I was 16 I got pregnant and gave up my baby for adoption.  I usually correct that statement and say my parents made the choice for me to give up my child for adoption.  I really didn't have a say in the matter.  In hindsight, it was a wise decision and it was certainly a sign of the times back in the 1960s.

I never looked for my son because I hoped, prayed and dreamed he had a good life and good parents. In all likelihood, I knew it was better than anything I could have given him as a teenager.  I knew if he ever came looking for me, I would welcome that but did not dwell on the past or what either of us may have missed out on. 

My life changed greatly in 2013 when my granddaughter (Kiley who was 19 at the time) called me and we had a very unusual conversation BUT at the end of the conversation she said my father is adopted...if you can think of anyone who dropped out of school call me or my mother.   That's when I nearly dropped the phone.  This all started unfolding when I posted my phone number on Facebook which I have never done before or since.  Yes, I believe this was a God thing.

The next day I called Amy (the mother and my son's wife) back and and the journey of connecting birth mother and son (Richard) and his family began.  The journey has had its twists and turns but I'll skip to the end first.  I am joining my son (Richard) his wife (Amy) at my granddaughter's (Kiley) house for Christmas this week.  Others I am looking forward to seeing are Kiley's husband (Ernesto) and my great granddaughter (Mia) and my grandson (Ryan) and who knows who else will be there.  

When we first talked in 2013, I was in Utah for the summer and they were in Texas.  We spent hours on the phone getting to know each other but did not meet for three months until I returned to Texas.

I am glad to say that Richard was raised by two loving parents who were older when they adopted him and later his sister.  Out of respect for his mother, he did not look for me seriously until after they had both passed.  

The story about how they found me is pretty amazing.  They had seen on a redacted record that I transferred in or out of NBISD and they knew that was either New Braunfels or New Bern in Texas.  They focused on New Braunfels and picked me out of my 1965 high school annual because they said their daughter Kiley had looked like me as she was growing up.  When they mentioned that, I told them they should have looked a few lines down in the annual to see Richard's father.  In my opinion, Richard is the spitting image of his father.  

The story of our journey since they found me is not worth sharing all the details but I truly say our relationship is one of mutual respect and we all do our best to limit unrealistic expectations.  

One of the things I thought and felt this morning as I began thinking and writing about this part of my life and his, is his family has adopted me and I truly feel "chosen" as he was "chosen" so very long ago by two loving parents who gave him a home, a great life and taught him great values. 

Richard's life has turned out to be more than I could have ever dreamed or imagined for him.  And besides that, he is a good man, husband and father.  They all continue to amaze me with the family bonds they have and the choices that they make every day to stay strong and keep their family close even though Richard's children are fully functioning adults with lives of their own.  Those bonds would not be broken easily and that is becoming somewhat  rare in the USA today.  

Any regrets I have, relate to not having my late husband and my parents have the opportunity to know and love him as I do and not being able to thank the parents who raised him for doing an incredibly GREAT job.

Thank you for choosing me to be a part of the clan.  I am abundantly blessed to know you all and to be "chosen" to be a part of your family.

Abundant blessings, peace and joy to you all.