What if you ask for help?

Mendhi Audlin's live Facebook group recently asked "What if you ask for help?"  Here is a link to the video:

     What if you ask for help Facebook Live Event

Probably many of us have a problem asking for help or have had at sometime in our lives.  In my family it seemed like it was a sign of weakness if you asked for help.  I'd rather do it myself or no one can do it as good as I can was usually how that showed up.

Over many years of managing people I had to learn to let others do it.  Sometimes they even did it better than I could but either way it meant I didn't have to do it myself which gave me more time to do what was mine to do.

Today I found an interesting article by Forbes which is shown below:

     4 Reasons Why Asking For Help Makes You a Strong, Not Weaker, Leader

I still do some project management on things I am passionate about but for the most part I am glad I am not in the day to day working world and managing people any longer.  I do love to ask my students to share resources they come up with in the classes I facilitate.  It is always interesting to see what they come up with. 

You'll often hear me say to my students:  When I teach, I always learn more from my students then they learn from me.  Usually that comes from there questions.  It definitely keeps my mind active trying to find answers to the questions for which I don't already know the answer.  I'm glad to say that most of the time I do.  It's also ok for me to say: I don't know or I couldn't figure that out.  It doesn't scare me anymore to not know the answer.  When I first started teaching it did.

So can and do you ask for help? How do you feel about asking for help?

Abundant blessings.

Action, Contemplation and Prayer

A recent post from the Center of Action and Contemplation hit home.  One quote says:

...the desert fathers and mothers believed that prayer was a disposition of wholeness, so that “prayer and our life must be all of a piece.” 

It goes on to say something I have always believed.  There is no right way to pray but our life should reflect what we believe, how we serve and what we do in and with our lives.

A link to the complete article is included below.

     A Practical Two Fold Process

Unity believes in Affirmative Prayer and I believe in affirmations and am very positive about my life and most things in it.  I will probably never consider myself an expert in affirmative prayer but I have some incredible role models that have shown me the way and helped me improve as I continue my journey.  Here is an article from Unity about:

     What Is Affirmative Prayer?

Just today I learned the name of the type of prayer I usually choose.  It's called Two-Way Prayer which was written about by the Oxford Group.  I believe this was first written in the 1930's.

     Two Way Prayer - How To Listen to God

When I began to research it I found a number of very good sites of practical ways to use Two Way Prayer from some 12-step program information. Here is one I found very useful.  

     How to Practice Two-Way Prayer

In my opinion, this is the type of prayer that the Center for Action and Contemplation practices and writes daily posts to help you put this into practice in your life.

Hopefully, this will give you some things to contemplate about your own prayer and contemplation practices.  I often find it useful to change up and upgrade my prayer practice.  It help me see what is working and what is not working for me.

Abundant blessings.

Officially Confirmed....I am different

Many of us think and feel we are different but several years ago I had it confirmed.  In my journey to become a Licensed Unity Teacher, I had to take a psychological evaluation after I had been studying and taking courses for a few years. 

On my first trip to Unity Village for more advanced training, all of us had to take a psychological test to see if we were fit enough to be licensed.  At the end of that week, you met with the psychologist and received your review.  

I remember sitting down for my review.  The first thing she said to me is in all my years of testing people, I have never seen anyone who is so far outside of the bell curve.  You can probably imagine my shock and all the feelings and thoughts that went through my head at the once.

One of the few things I can remember about the conversation is thinking you have to communicate with and respond to this person.  I knew I had to carry on a conversation and keep some level of composure.  With thoughts going through my head about you've spent thousands of dollars on your training and hundreds of hours and now you tell me I may not qualify for this program.

I remember her asking me some questions but to be honest there is little I remember her asking me. The conversation lasted for about an hour.  When it was over, I knew she had to discuss my test results with her peers who were working with other candidates.  After it was over, I know I allowed myself to freak out for awhile.

I went and sat on the grounds of beautiful Unity Village in Lees Summit, Missouri and allowed my thoughts to catch up with my emotions.  I remember having a very long phone conversation with my dear friend Wayne who had only recently come back in to my life.  One of the things I knew is that I had to go back to Texas and have a serious conversation with my minister about what may or may not happen while awaiting the results of the testing.

Three or four weeks past before Rev. Karen got the results.  By some miracle and perhaps some divine intervention I was given the go ahead and was able to proceed with my training.  To this day, I don't know how I got approved for the program. 

So for those of my friends, family and loved ones who always wondered why or if I was different it was confirmed...I am different.  When I was younger this would have been devastating to me to have had this confirmed but I am glad to say we all get a little wiser as we grow older.

As I sit here writing this, I remembered a card my Mother gave me in the 1990s that said this very thing.  This card still exists in my Wisdom course autobiography.  One of the things it said is, "I haven't always agreed with your decisions but I hope you know that I respect your courage and independence in making them.  You're dong all you can to be the person you want to be, and I admire that."  To some it up, it confirmed once again I am different and even my parents knew it.  I know all my friends, family and loved ones have been sure of it at one time or another.

I know we are all unique individuals but few have had it confirmed.

Vive la difference!

The soul does not use words...

Fr. Richard Rohr from the Center for Action and Contemplation writes on 1/8/2020 about Inner Silence.  A quote from this meditation is:

The soul does not use words. It surrounds words with space, and that is what I mean by silence. Silence is a kind of wholeness. It can absorb contraries, paradoxes, and contradictions. Maybe that is why we do not like silence. There is nothing to argue about in true inner silence, and the mind likes to argue. It gives us something to do. The ego loves something it can take sides on. Yet true interior silence does not allow you to take sides. That is one reason contemplation is so liberating and calming. There are no sides to take and only a wholeness to rest in—which frees us to act on behalf of love.  

A link to the whole daily meditation follows:

     Inner Silence

I have taught meditation classes but like most of us we tend to think meditation or going into the silence has to look a certain way or as I have often said in my life "there is a right way to do it and I'm not doing it that way".

As I have gotten older, I try my best to not have things need to look a certain way.  Yes, I still forget and may always do this but even a "peaceful pause" throughout our day when we simply stop whatever we are doing and take a deep breath and let it out is a type of meditation...a letting go of the hustle and bustle of daily life.

Another thing I just realized is that I have learned to enjoy my Pockets of Peace throughout my day and busy life that I have chosen.  I am enjoying one of these as I write this post.

You can and will find many definitions for meditation and going into the silence but one of the things I enjoy most about teaching about meditation is helping class participants see that there are many types and forms of meditation.  Just remember you are the one that gets to choose what meditation means to you and for you.  Like most things in life...it is not about doing it the right way.  It's about finding what is right and good for you.

May you grow still enough to hear the splintering of starlight in the winter sky and the roar at earth’s fiery core.

BR. DAVID STEINDL-RAST

Abundant blessings, peace and joy!

When your NO is your new YES

Recently I woke up at 5:00 am with two emails in my inbox that started my day off in what one could describe as a flash flood.  

I am the Volunteer Coordinator for the new Winter Shelter for the Homeless in my community in a volunteer capacity.  This grew out of me being the Organization Volunteer Coordinator for the Cold Weather Shelter which no longer exists as of late December.  In order to continue my support for the new shelter in both my time and talent, I took on a few new jobs that I really had not said YES to but did these anyway.

One of the things I did not agree to do is coordinate and recruit individual volunteers.  I agreed to coordinate and recruit Organizations and Churches who took on one week at a time to provide volunteers, food, overnight hosts etc. as needed for cold weather events.  I knew there were changes with the new 60-night Winter Shelter pilot and even knew I was taking on more than my original agreement.

Back to this morning, I had an individual volunteer send me an email and ask me if she had volunteered for Sunday or Monday morning breakfast.  This helped me realize that my whole SignUp Genius schedule for a week later in January was incorrect and needed to be updated.  My mind proceeded to go through all the things that needed to be updated and all the people I needed to talk to to correct the problem with this schedule.

Then I read further in my Inbox and email #2 showed up asking me to help the shelter publish and manage a new volunteer schedule for individual volunteers to pick up and do laundry each morning for the remaining shelter nights.  I realized laundry had become a bigger problem with the shelter being open every night regardless of the weather.

First thing I am grateful for is that I am very involved with the shelter and that I am not in charge.  The Comal County Homeless Coalition was lucky to have an organization take on running the Winter Shelter for the 60 day pilot and for having one of their incredibly talented leaders take on overseeing this effort. Also, we are blessed to have a an extremely qualified project manager working under this leader to keep things running on a daily basis.   All that said, I am glad it is not me nor did I ever intend for it to be.  I have however stepped up to do more than I originally agreed to do.  At least until this morning.

This morning I had to sort through the computer system problems and the people problems that needed to be handled.  Going through this mental and emotional process helped me make some new choices and to communicate these choices.  Hopefully, I did this without making myself or anyone else wrong.  

There were definitely a few good laughs by me and others involved about the mess and especially the resulting clean up process.  In the process, I reaffirmed my commitment to the shelter and made it clear what I am willing to do and what I am not willing to do.  

Shortly after all was cleaned up and back in some order, I heard a song by Karen Drucker (one of my favorite singers) that I had not heard before entitled:  

     N-O is My New Yes 

Perhaps we should all be more clear when to say NO and when to say YES and even know when we haven't said anything at all but still keep doing what we are doing.   As she says in her song, The Disease to Please is often with us and when I say NO, I set myself free.  

May you and I become more clear about our NO's and our YES's in our lives.

Abundant blessings, peace and joy.

My pack of dogs

On a recent trip to the Texas coast I was telling a dear friend about the people who were my strong supporters back when I was in management in the banking business and when I was doing computer training/management.  

I was telling her a story about one my secretaries who was asked one day "How can you work for that woman?" and her reply was oh you don't know her at all.  And she went on to say what a great boss I was and how the people that worked for me really liked me and would stand up for me if needed.  

Right out of my travel companion's mouth came the words "Oh like your pack of dogs who will defend you to the death."  I laughed out loud and said I would have never called my people that but many of them were very loyal employees to me and would have defended me to any and all. 

People on the outside always saw that I got things done on my own and through other people which is one of the many gifts I possess.  From the outside it often looked like I was a very driven person who got things done no matter what.  We use to laugh that I was a pushy b.t..h and many people not working close to me thought that.

Another reply to my travel companion, was I have always had "my pack of dogs" and even though I don't need them quite as much as I did in the working and management world, I still have "my pack of dogs".  They just don't have to show their teeth very often since I retired.

As I was writing this on New Year's Day, I realized that there is at least one person who I still remain in contact with who has been in "my pack of dogs" longer than anyone else in my life.  She first worked for me at the Bank of A&M in College Station.  We all grew up together there and learned how the banking business really works and how to fix it when things were broken.  I decided to call her and we just got off the phone.  We talked for nearly an hour.  We laughed and reminisced about old times and old friends.  She worked for me at three different banks over the years.  I can honestly say, she could work me under the table...especially on a calculator.  I love you Sheila.

So for those of you who have ever been in "my pack of dogs", I say thank you to my loyal employees, bosses, friends, mentors and followers...I know you know who you are.  You made my journey easier and more satisfying. 

May you all be so lucky to have and know your own "pack of dogs".

Abundant blessings, peace and joy.

Are you living the life you chose or the one that chose you

I spent New Year's Eve at the Winter Shelter for the homeless recently.  On the way home from the shelter I heard a song with the refrain for which I titled this post.  Are you living the life you chose or the life that chose you?

Certainly I believe we create our lives.  Either by choosing or by not choosing.  We may not choose everything that happens to us but we certainly do choose our response to the events and things that come our way.

I and my church believe we co-create our lives with God.  It's call it the Law of Attraction.  Here is a link to an article by Eric Butterworth's on the matter  He was the minister at Unity of New York for many years and one of Unity's great writers:  The Law of Attraction  Butterworth.  He also talks about that we attract everything into our lives and how to deal with what comes our way even the not so good stuff.  Eric also wrote a book called The Power Within and is included in my Self Care Book List on Amazon.   A quote from the article is:

If you are having a problem, don't shift into the attitude that a "twist of fate has ruined my life." This is a cop-out. The experience has happened, and to you, not to someone else. At this time, you may not understand it, but something in you has attracted it. Don't grovel in the "why," for this may be a subtle attempt to vindicate yourself and to implicate someone or something else. Accept the obvious fact that it has happened, and know that there is that in you that is equal to it. And most importantly, determine that you will grow through it and thus rise to a state of mind where such a thing cannot happen again.

Another great Unity writer is Ellen Debenport and she writes in the linked article about co-creating our lives with God:  EGO - Edging God Out.  Ellen also wrote the book The Five Principles which is about Unity's five basic principles and part of my Self Care Book list on Amazon as well.  

Rev. Art Holt also wrote a great article about Your Thought Is Your Life which includes some bibilical references and that if you Change Your Thoughts! You Change Your Life!

One of my favorite writers and one I read daily is Fr. Richard Rohr a Catholic priest that I admire and respect.  He writes daily for the Center for Action and Contemplation and in this article titled:  Choose Heaven he writes about choosing Heaven or Hell everyday and that they are both inside of us.  Another great article by him is about Living Fully subtitled Dying Before You Die.  In this article he writes:

[We] make the conscious choice of living not in the past or future, but in each present moment. This takes great courage and the ability to make peace with your life: to live without hope or fear, to let go without regret, to know that you have lived fully. 

What an appropriate quote to end this post on Choice and Choosing.  You will definitely hear more of my thoughts on this subject.

Abundant blessings, peace and joy!

Abundantly blessed

I am reminded often about the many blessings in my life and have even written about some of these and the people who are important to me and make a difference in my life. This week, I want to say thank you, thank you, thank you God for our wonderful volunteers at Unity of New Braunfels.  

My church provided volunteers three nights recently when the Homeless Cold Weather Shelter was activated which is housed at another church.  I had all the volunteers I needed before I sent out the official request for the first two nights.  They provided evening and morning meals and overnight hosts and other duties.   

The third night was Saturday night and somewhat unexpected.  I did have to scramble for volunteers but new people stepped up and filled every evening and morning slot.  Late Saturday morning I did not have an overnight host.  When I drove to the gas station and I looked up there was my new friend Girard from another church.  He and I just laughed when we saw each other.  Yes, he did spend the night at the shelter with me on Saturday night.

One of the many blessings I got during this week is that I only had to spend one of the three nights at the shelter because Girard and Michael (another new friend) stepped up and took a few overnight slots.   I was there both evenings and mornings just to make sure everyone knew what they were doing. I coordinate volunteers for my church and for the entire cold weather shelter.

At UoNB we are blessed to have people who step up and and say YES when needed to help in so many ways. It is wonderful to be part of such a giving commUNITY that makes a difference in the world in many, many ways...and to have a few extra people who my church has adopted to fill in if needed.

Abundant blessings, peace and joy to you all.