Saturday, November 2, 2019

What are you tolerating?

In our Self Care class we did a very interesting, effective exercise.  In the class everyone was asked to write down three things they are tolerating.  For homework, they were asked to write down 60 things that you are tolerating.  Even the question makes most people uncomfortable.  Several people, including me, thought that our lives are so blessed, that we didn't or shouldn't have anything to complain about.

My experience was not surprising.  I still have not gotten to 60 things but 90% of the things on my list had to do with my house and 10% actually had to do with other things or people.  One of the things I've learned is that somethings in my life I have no commitment to changing.  I can table these things because I am not going to do anything about these.  Several of the house things fell in to a category I had not distinguished that is:  Major home improvements I am willing to consider.  I have talked to a few friends about this and will in all likelihood proceed after the first of the year with plans to package these improvements in to a home improvement loan or refinance my mortgage to have all of these done sooner rather than later.  Also, not surprising my back porch got cleaned off because it was something that made me feel better and it is now a beautiful space to enjoy breakfast outdoors.  Yesterday, the trees in my yard were given a beautiful redesign with trimming and pruning.  The workers were amazing.

As I said, many of the people in the class were confronted by this question.  Once you begin this list it helps you see things that you were not aware of and you can choose to do something about them or not.  The exercise is for the purpose of letting you discover where your energies, time, money and calories are going.  Another way you can look at this is where are your limited resources being spent and is that where you want to spend them.

By the way this was not a question we made up.  Credit must be given to Thomas Leonard from Coach U.  He has since made his transition but spent most of his life coaching coaches.

This exercise continues the conversations I am having with others about making the unconscious conscious and this conversation will continue on several blog posts. 

Ask yourself this question:  What are you tolerating?

Abundant Blessings.


  1. Well, I made my list of 60 things I am tolerating, and most of them are personal choices over which I feel powerless. The number one was eating sugar. I can't see a single value to eating sugar and I do see a number of problems it causes. So why do I still do it? It is frustrating to have something in my list that only I can do anything about, but about which I seem to be unable to choose rationally. Ideas?

  2. Glenda, I apologize for missing your comment. Perhaps I am the only person who can do anything about everything on my list. I know I can't change anyone else only myself. One of my very good friends reminds me often we have free will and/or choice. It may be one of my foolish dreams that I ever thought I should or can choose for anyone else. Blessings on your journey